Stag Do Bother With…
Nemesis. Phenomenally nearly twenty years old, and revered both in the park (a recent poll saw it voted Alton’s best ride ever by loyal visitors), and by other rivals, and their rabid, socially awkward enthusiasts, it’s a masterpiece of twisted design and seems to get faster and more forceful each year. So popular and iconic is Nemesis, that this year sees the launch of Nemesis: Sub-Terra, a new thrill ride that promises ‘your worst nightmare underground’, and explores the origins of the ride’s titular angry alien monster. “What lies beneath?” ask Alton Towers in anticipation of it’s March opening. No idea, but I’ll hazard a guess that there’s a gift shop waiting for us back up above.
Stag Don’t Bother With…
Fastrack. Like Thorpe Park, but pressed on visitors much less intensely, it must be said, Alton Towers offer the option to waltz past other paying guests at a small premium. Whilst shelling out over £45 to skip all the queues on each ride once (or £85 for the privelidge of doing it repeatedly) is theoretically a nice treat, if you turn up early at Alton, stay in the hotels or nearby, and work from the back to the front, you can get it all done at no extra expense. There’s also single rider queues, in which if you don’t mind sitting next to a stranger, your queueing time is reduced. This might not be the best option for the groom…
When, Where, HOW MUCH?!
Located equidistant from both the M1 and the M6 in the Staffordshire Mooorlands, Alton Towers is a fairly tedious, if scenic drive from both. Another good reason to set off early is that the roads around the park often struggle with demand later in the morning. Public transport is possible from Stoke On Trent and Uttoxeter, but often seems often over-subscribed and feels like a hassle, although the park also charge £5 to park, so you can’t win. If you travel in a group, it’s worth chipping in and paying double that to park right next to the gate. Unless you’re staunchly against paying more for anything, in which case, your visit to Alton Towers could soon get quite stressful. The park is open from March until November, and despite popular myth, it’s always easy to avoid a busy day. Strangely, Bank Holiday Mondays are notoriously quiet, whilst the following Tuesday is almost always very busy, with dissapointed people who thought they were being clever. Like Thorpe, tickets are around the £40 mark, but cheaper when booked online. If you eat cereal, you likely possess an Alton Towers voucher offer, and you’d be mad to pay full whack.
