For things to avoid on the printed page, we look to the Bard himself. Although not strictly a wedding, MacBeth ends quite badly for the married couple, making it the Eastenders of Shakespeare’s work. Sparking off a pigeonholing moniker for strong women everywhere, Lady MacBeth is pushed towards suicide by apparitions of blood on her hands, after she forces her husband to commit murder in order to become King of Scotland.
While this may have been frowned upon four hundred years ago, manipulation and climbing the corporate ladder in this fashion would be seen as ambition today. Her husband doesn’t fair much better, the play finishes off with him being beheaded for his crimes. If MacBeth is Eastenders, then surely Romeo & Juliet is Hollyoaks – young beautiful people constantly lumbering towards tragedy. The star-crossed lovers unable to be together due to family differences commit suicide. Their actions do make their respective families realise that the blood feud they have been fighting isn’t worth it. Every cloud and all that.
If we must complete the soap analogy, A Midsummers’ Night Dream, full of swapping couples, comedy characters and a silly happy ending, can only be Coronation Street. However, it has no place here because the couples end up with who they’re supposed to end up with. What about Emmerdale, I hear you ask? Who cares?