Its not Winning its Taking part that Counts!

Hopes are high however, after the office chair race success, coming 25th with a chair that was not modified, no practice, and a severe beating received several nights previously. It's given me a good sense of optimism heading into the World Crap Surfing Championships. I could win it, I could ride my first wave, I could hold aloft the World Crap surfing trophy and an Anglo American from London could go against all odds and pip last years winner to the post.

And then suddenly a Reality Check:

I can't surf– I have never surfed

You see I was a late developer when it came to making the transition between Land and Water. I still had armbands on at the ripe old age of 6, and had to wear a swimming hat because my hair would react to any substance known to man and go a greenish colour, and of course judging from the picture below, I preferred to sit on the beach with sand in my ass eating Ice cream (nothing has changed there).

I don't own a surfboard

Yes funny that but who would need a surfboard when they don't know how to surf? However, I am not as misguided as I might appear, I have in fact used my brain and Google for the purpose it was meant for. So this morning I typed in "how to surf" and have been practicing on my office chair….. actually I reckon there is a new sport right there – the office chair surfing championships! Gnarly!

I don't own a wetsuit

Again with the human race doing pretty well on land, a wetsuit was not on my wish list. Thus I will be relying on the weather to come good this weekend as I attempt to Surf in what can only be described as the "Wham Shorts".

I might be a bit heavy

So I know I am not the largest person but working in the centre of London does change your eating habits somewhat, and I can guarantee I have never seen a fat person surf. Last time I swam I got stuck in a rubber ring.

As you can see my chances are slim

however there is a glimmer of hope, as with all good events there are prizes for just being ridiculous and I am fairly confident that on the day I could lift at least one trophy from a number of great catergories.

The Main Categories

**World Crap Surfing Champion
Men's World Crap Surfing Champion
Woman's World Crap Surfing Champion
Youth (under 16) World Crap Surfing Champion
**

Yes the World Crap Surfer does seem quite far away however there are two aspects that I can consider an advantage on this trip.. the first.. I am not hitchhiking and unless there is a French tourist on route that plans a car jack then I shall not be attending the race bloodied and bruised. Secondly…… I only have to be a little bit better then crap.