It’s part of the fun of the stag to ritualistically humiliate the groom. Apart from anything else, it’s excellent preparation for a lifetime of hiding in a garden shed from his soon-to-be wife’s nagging. In reverse order of greatness, here are some of the best/worst stag pranks we’ve heard of.

5. The splash and dash

One stag was picked up by a fishing boat on the Isle of Wight after apparently being stripped naked and falling off a pier. Locals had alerted the Coastguard after hearing his cries for help. ”He was very cold and said he had been on a stag do on the island. The fishermen dropped him off on Ryde beach and he was last seen running naked towards Ryde,” said a representative. “Obviously we were a bit worried about him catching hypothermia but we haven’t been able to find him.”

4. A saucy joke

A bridegroom and his best man were dumped by the side of the A363 in Bournemouth, totally naked apart from the eggs, flour and ketchup that their friends had drenched them in. Motorists driving past called 999 and the police came and took the by-now-very-sunburnt men back to a Wiltshire police station. “Officers didn’t know what to make of it,” said a rather dry-witted police spokesman. “They were handcuffed together and very red. Some bits were redder than others if you know what I mean.”

3. The ‘kidnap’

Locals in Łódź, Poland, were shocked to see a young man snatched from the street and bundled into the back of his car by a group of masked men. Police were called and set out looking for the vehicle. Eventually, they managed to contact his family and his uncle explained that it had all been a prank. The cops weren’t amused.

2. The arrest

A 25-year-old builder spent a day drinking in Bratislava, Slovakia, before plunging naked into a fountain (can’t think why Eastern Europeans think we’re a bunch of louts). Police thought this was a bit much and arrested him for lewd, drunken behaviour. He was sentenced to two months in prison… one week before his wedding. “I miss him so much,” said his wife-to-be, before leaving for her own hen weekend at Butlins.

1. The smurf

This stag was taken away on holiday by his mates and they clubbed together and bought him a midget. Who they painted blue. And dressed as a smurf. And handcuffed to the groom. So for four days the groom and smurf had to eat, sleep, drink and… suffice to say, they were close by the end of the weekend.