10 Worst British UK Stag Do Destinations

Turvey Abbey is one of an increasing number of open Nunneries welcoming guests on a relaxing, chilled out weekend retreat. Whilst the Nuns at Turvey are described as ‘good-humoured’ and ‘open-minded’, they are ladies of the cloth, and we’re sure they have their limits... dinner must be taken in silence, mass is encouraged, and the local nature trails are the main entertainment options. No word yet on when the combination laser and paintballing arena is due to open.

It’s only an hour away from Turvey Abbey, but feels like a completely different world. Expect camouflage not tunics, laser guns instead of crosses and grenades instead of bibles. Plus, you can arrive wearing your favourite sexy nun outfit without feeling completely stupid (well, we can’t guarantee that).

The National Wedding Show prides itself on being at the forefront of exhibiting elegance and excellence in the field of bridal wear – you’d be hard pushed to find a girlier conference centre going. Naturally, a pack of rampaging, lairy, boozy stags aren’t exactly welcome, nor encouraged.

If you’re desperate to watch some attractive ladies strut their stuff, why not do it properly and enjoy a sexy, seductive and sensual lap dance. Instead of scaring the groom by surrounding him by wedding related tat, be a proper mate and let him enjoy his last days as a bachelor in style.

Yes, the culture is amazing. Granted, the cafe there is tip-top, but stop any employee and ask them where the tits are and you’ll see precisely why this place is a no-go for stag groups.

Why go and see professional art when you could make your own that’ll be just as good! Okay, well you’re probably going to end up with a few scribbles and not much else, but at the end of the day, that’s not what this activity is really about, is it?

The world’s most prestigious dog show is not friendly to large groups of boozy lads. Weirdly, it’s also not friendly to dogs, who aren’t permitted unless they’re in the competition. But the organisers are even less happy when any generous drunk turns up with a bag of biscuits and a story to tell! It’s a definite no-go for party fun - you can’t abuse the referees in the show jumping or even tie the groom to a lampost with dogs tied to him.

If you’re in Birmingham, the home of crufts, and desperate for some dog-related stag do fun, why not have a proper hair of the dog experience. It’s guaranteed that you’ll be hungover at some point, so get up and clear away the cobwebs with a classy cocktail making experience.

There’s surely no better symbol of England’s greying seaside resorts than Eastbourne. Affectionately nicknamed “God’s Waiting Room,” it’s pleasant, well-kept and classy - but it’s no party destination. Unless, of course, you think a spot of afternoon bingo with a hundred OAPs is a party?

Just 30 minutes’ from Eastbourne, Brighton has more pubs, clubs and restaurants than you could shake a stick at. Yes, it may not be home to the impressive Redoubt Fortress, but there will more than enough to take your mind off of that. Expect buzzing nightclubs, like the amazing Pryzm, hilarious activities like zorb football and, best of all, you’ll still get to enjoy the British coastline. Plus, instead of one pier it’s got two! Well, one a bit...

Legoland is the UK’s favourite children’s theme park, and unlike say, Thorpe Park, it’s a lot more hands on. You can learn to drive! Learn to pilot a boat! Pan for gold! You can build a huge, pointless tower of plastic bricks and then are actively encouraged by staff to dress up as a Transformer and drop kick it over. But they don’t serve booze at the park, and there’s nothing more depressing than a grown man caught sneaking Special Brew into Legoland.

You might not get be able to get your Lego driving licence at Blackpool Pleasure Beach, but it does have dodgems to help you forget that. It’s way more appropriate for a group of blokes, though you’ll be screaming like a little baby once on the eye-watering roller coasters. More importantly, you can buy beers once inside - though we don’t recommend getting too hammered before the rides.

Seaside towns are regularly described as possessing a ‘faded glamour’, and it’s definitely appropriate for Rhyl. Once a popular holiday destination for thousands of Scousers and Mancunians, the town is an ironic mix of Welsher-than-thou patriotism, with all the benefits of a night out in Luton. Tourist spots include the car park where John Prescott belted a bloke that hit him with an egg.

Want a properly Welsh experience with the lads? Then head to Cardiff, it’s one of the most exciting, diverse and fastest growing cities in Europe. Unlike Rhyl, with it’s 3 clubs, Cardiff is literally packed with mega-clubs, classy bars and some of the best food options in the whole of country. Luckily, we’ve already organised the highlights of the amazing city to help you out.

Apparently, petting zoo doesn’t mean that kind of petting.

With this activity, you’ll get up close with nature and, even better, won’t be screamed at for trying to feed the elephants a Dorito. Instead, you’ll get to climb trees, zipline and take on some pretty scary jumps (don’t worry, ropes are provided). To top it all off, unlike Colchester Zoo, High Rope activities are available around the UK, so you don’t have to plan your whole weekend around seeing some slightly manky, sleeping goats.

There’s not many more embarrassing sites than watching a group of grown men fight in a ball pit as concerned mothers cover their children’s eyes and look on in disbelief. You’ll have to wait ages for your time on the slide, probably get stuck at some point and, invariably, get chucked out as soon as they realise you haven’t brought any kids with you.

If you’re looking for some nostalgic fun and inflatable toys, then do it properly and take part in some wacky regional games. Not only will it mean you don’t have to share with 5 year old kids and their nagging parents, you’ll also get to celebrate your hometown in style. With hilarious games like the sheep rodeo in Wales, Haggis Rolling in the Highland Games and the Cider Run in Bristol, there’s something available for all.

Coventry City’s football stadium, Ricoh Arena, has been ranked as the worst stadium in the whole country. According to the football website, 442, it is ‘a depressive experience’ with a ‘soulless atmosphere’ - not the place for a stag weekend, then. On the upside, it is close to the motorway, meaning you can get out of there quickly. If you are Coventry fan, don’t blame us! We thought it would be MK Dons because, well, it’s in Milton Keynes.

Instead of standing in the freezing cold in a lifeless stadium watching a team’s depressing fall from grace, why don’t you and your mates go and play zorb football. During this chaotic and hilarious activity, you’ll strap yourselves into giant inflatable bubbles before stepping onto the pitch to bounce, barge and bash each other out of the way! It’s the perfect way to get any frustration out and it’ll make the day one the Stag will never forget.